Packing my books

I plan to move away in a month and half, may be a day or two sooner, but I already have here boxes. The first thing I put in them were books. I have a lot of books. A lot of probably isn’t enough.

Last two years I went through a lot and my books reflect that. I have a lot of them about neurodiversity, be it autism, ADHD or learning disabilities. For me the easiest way how to deal with things is to get as much information as possible and act according to the information. So I have 33 books about these topics.

This much books wouldn’t require a separate box. I added 17 books related to child abuse and neglect. I wrote about it before. When I put those 50 books into a box I became emotional. Not because of what happened but because I was able to work through things that appeared after my mother became less influential person in my life. It made me feel proud and sad at the same time.

I feel strong but not because I survived meaningless abuse and neglect. I feel strong because I was able to work through some difficult stuff on my own because help wasn’t available. I wouldn’t recommend anyone to mimic my process because it’s awfully hard not to have a therapist who can help.