So I got my ear pointing done couple of hours ago and right now my ears are starting to hurt really badly. But that’s not the point of this post. In this post I want to think about the freeing energy that’s in me right now.
Last couple of years were horrible for me. I knew that I was going into a trap and I wasn’t able to avoid it and crashed. I wasn’t able to get away from my workaholic/alcoholic mother for a long time. I wasn’t even able to admit to myself that she is partly abusive and partly neglectful. I still don’t realize that some things she said to me were scary.
I didn’t just fell on the floor, I fell through to an alligator pit and had to learn to be friends with those alligators. They are really good at card games if you get to know them a bit better. It took me awhile before I was able to pick myself up and start fighting at upper levels.
I knew that I needed to do this procedure, not just because of my love of pointy eared Claymores, but mostly because I changed so much and I need to go through some kind of dividing(?) ritual. Something which would acknowledge the change in the inside.
What I am talking about is similar to a transgender person choosing to transition and changing everything but a little bit different. While transition is never ending, this thing is more like thick line which marks the beginning of the next part of my life. (The view about gender transition is only mine, possible, I haven’t talked to other trans people how they view it.)
So acknowledging all the bad that happened in changing my own body has freed a lot of energy which focused on past and how to deal with it. There were some quite stressful moments while I was traveling to a place where I got my ear pointing and I handled them, to my surprise, quite well. I am not saying I didn’t panic. I did but I wasn’t overwhelmed. I could do some other stuff in the meantime and have a great time.
At this point I would get my ears pointed again, probably by the same guy. When the next set of events happens and I will need to make mark I might get some branding or tongue split. Just kidding about tongue split, I might do that just for fun.